And can’t think of mankind.

No matter, having thousand eyes,

Such man, for sure, is blind.

Not all can ask themselves for help,

If once you understand.

Don’t have your ego let them down.

Just give the helping hand.

The patient, lying on bed with tears,

Has no hope anymore.

He might be hungry for three days,

The one, who lives next door.

The child, who lately lost his mom,

Is shivering in the cold.

Once hug and spread the warmth of love,

And show your heart of gold.

Don’t laugh, when find someone helpless,

Don’t take this world as zoo.

To make this place – Eden or hell,

You know – it’s up to you.

(Nayyar Afaq)

My breaths are unsure, and your fate is chancy.

Gildamesh, Hydra, Sea serpent, Keira or Lotus,

You never were afraid, but always took a notice.

You led the army from front; be it a battle or a quest,

No wonder, today a medallion shines on your chest.

Cleric, Mage, Rogue, Ranger and a Warlock,

Crippling, deflection, and attacks – round the clock.

Bells toll for Armageddon, how to chain the spawn?

The battle will carry on from dusk till dawn.

Lo and behold! Here She comes from the forbidden land,

With a shine in her eyes, and a sword in her hand.

She speaks in her silence, plans strategy with vision,

And never gives up, even if she loses the mission.

Tired and injured, but for rest, there is no choice,

To be a champion, one needs to pay some price.

A star has fallen last night in the backyard,

And Glacius, the Frost Giant killed an elite guard.

Alchemy went wrong, and lava shard hit the ground,

Orcs emerged, and invaded the castle from all around.

Final round begun, clocked ticked, countdown started,

Ambrosia favors, but only those, who are not fainthearted.

I rushed with my cloned defenders to her aid,

But Typhonus swirled his arms and killed me with a blade.

Azeron issued mystic powers to all his dead slaves.

And seprent thrashed wildly causing large waves.

She rushed to save the army from that ravage,

And launched the force field for a massive amount of damage.

Health bar dropped to zero, but no remorse,

A cleric will fill the bar green, with full force.

Orcs jumped inside the castle breaching the eastern wall,

But she didn’t show panic, and still stood tall.

Giving up was not the option, but a blasphemy, a crime,

Do or die, but attempt for the survival, just one last time.

She opened the window, and let the volley of arrows fly,

She shouted, “Hit, hit, hit – Try, try, try.”

Atlantean spear shunned the last member of her team,

She recited her spell – The requiem for a dream.

Living in womb of time, how come one defeat the fate?

But she broke them all – those ugly walls of the dark gate.

So my friend, my leader, and the loving one.

You fought like Xena, didn’t take it as a fun.

‘Castle Age’ is not so easy, as sitting on a calm chair,

It asks a tons of courage, and calls for bounties of dare.

How to win the challenges, you proved yourself aware,

If one doesn’t appreciate, it would highly be unfair.

You skilled well in the art of getting out of trap,

Standing ovation must be there, with my cheers and the clap.

‘Castle Age’ is a long and a difficult tunnel to travel,

Girl! You made me proud, achieving the 500th level.

(Nayyar Afaq / The Autumn Green)

This poem is written as a tribute to one of my best friends “Diane Walker”, on achieving the milestone of 500th level in the Facebook game “Castle Age”. Game’s terminologies and characters’ names are used, which might be difficult to understand for the non-gaming readers. 

With cleansing dust, and flares of ice.

The sweetness of ecstatic rhymes,

All are collected in her voice.

Mind treasured with such thoughtful trees,

Like someone lost her way in wood.

The vox that hymns like music notes,

A silence that’s less understood.

Who cares from where these echoes come?

From ancient bells of shores of Nile.

Her eyes are deeper than these waves,

Storms calm down with her single smile.

O’ Lord! Play once the harp of love,

My garden seeks the chirping birds.

O’ Lord! If once you bless my ears,

Few of her whispers and the words.

(Nayyar Afaq / Autumn Green)

Just once please hold my hands,
Get in my arms and twine.
Once hug and clean my soul,
Your touch is all divine.

I hope I could survive,
Still with this wound in heart.
Look in my eyes and smile,
And then we both may part.

(Nayyar Afaq / The Autumn Green)

For joys to reap – I must should sow.
A promise lives within me now.

As long as eyes are filled with tears.
As long as there are cries and fears.
As long as dreams are killed by spears
As long as life is void of cheers.
Blind are my eyes, deaf are my ears.
For all those gone, forsaken years.
The tears we cost, the smiles we lost.
Unanswered prayers; mine, your or theirs.

Still in my heart, love signs a vow.
A promise lives within me now.

O’ Lord! You made my heart so weak.
My looks seem dull, my words seem meek.
They call me dumb, they call me freak.
Why does luck play just hide and seek.
Please no more tear to roll on cheek.
Please bless me power to fight and speak.
I have no ark, in sea of dark.
How long I fight? Do show me light.

O’ Lord! On knees I beg, I bow.
A promise lives within me now.

(Nayyar Afaq / The Autumn Green)

Love is blind;
Works over any expectation,
And even beyond.
What we really want at our hearts,
Is not really what our eyes see.

I learned this lesson,
before closing the last window,
When I promised myself,
Of “Sublimation”.

(Poor me.)

I asked myself,
To try to stay like that,
No matter what life throws at me.

At that moment, I thought,
Love has other reasons that reason has not.
Loneliness cuts us away from the people.
We always tend to take them as strangers to ourselves,
And world turns a pity to live in,
This tragedy remains the same,
No matter what corner of the universe we dwell.

I learned,
No one likes to die alone,
And we have that power,
Not to let ourselves to slide in a pit of despair.

Before closing the last window, I reckoned,
There is no peace for the human soul,
But to love and being loved.
I thought,
It’s a right time for me to move on,
And not to look back over my shoulders.

Before closing the last window, I learned,
Love, happiness and liberation are within us,
Not in the one, we want with us.

I thought, It’s hard to reach an inner balance.
And if is in cards to stay alone,
That would be,
(But don’t give up hoping.)

I decided not to deduce any meaning from anything,
As sometimes, demons seem more faithful than angels.
Sometimes, life is like that,
People close to us,
Don’t realise our need for more closeness.
They only feel stuffed.

Before closing the last window, I recalled,
Once she said that I had a tender heart;
So gentle and caring,
Big enough to forgive her on not loving me.
And forget her for a new start.

I smiled with salty eyes,
(Is this the way, I want her to remember me?)

Well, may be, because once I was a poet.

Was?
Yes, was!

Since, then l lost my capacity of abstraction,
When I accepted that,
No one comes back in love.
They lie, they cheat, and they deceive,
But they don’t come back.
I learned this lesson,
and closed the last window.

Then I realised,
The more we become misanthropes, the more we need the others to heal our souls.

And a moment before it,
I promised myself, Of “Sublimation”.

(Poor me.)

(By Autumn Green / Nayyar Afaq. Special thanks to my blogger friend Gaby Pretorian – USA with hugs and smiles)

The moment, when star had this wish,
A big fish killed another fish.
But since that happened miles deep,
Who cared to watch, who cared to weep?

(Poet: Nayyar Afaq / The Autumn Green)

Congratulations to all my Indian friends. That was the match played in good spirit by both the teams. Manmohan Singh has shown a nice gesture by inviting Pakistan’s Prime Minister and Mr. Gillani reciprocated well. Pakistan’s skipper Shahid Afridi and the whole team greeted the winning side with a big heart and smiling face. What a tournament and what a wonderful day for the sportsmanship.

That’s the victory of the Cricket. That’s the defeat of distances among our hearts. All the best to Indian team for the Final. Whoever be the winner, let’s cheer that the new World Champion would be from Asia.

Pakistani team joined the mega event, after going through one crisis after another. Pakistan was initially one of the hosts of the World Cup, but this honour was soon taken away  which was a great disappointment for the cricket loving friendly nation. The recent England’s tour happened to be the worst nightmare which resulted in the ban on our top 3 players. Team was all shattered after this incident. Morale of the whole nation was down. To lead such a team in the world cup was the biggest challenge which Shahid Afridi accepted and then we all witnessed how our young team started the journey of victories. Standing at the top of the group after competing with world class teams of Sri Lanka and Australia was an achievement. Historical victory against Australia was enough to prove that the Greens are still the best and can bring miracles. 10 wickets haul against West Indies in Quarter Final proved the potential of the team. Playing the Semi Final was a privilege and a matter of great prestige. We lost the match but in graceful manner. We didn’t give up. We fought till last over.

Losing the toss was crucial. In games with such a tremendous pressure, chasing the target is never easy. We lost to India in all the world cup matches, while batting second. We had all the big names in 1992, 1996, and 1999; including Imran Khan, Javed Miandad, Wasim Akram, Waqar Younas, Saqlain, Shoaib Akhtar, Inzamam, Saeed Anwar and many more; still we got defeated while chasing. This time, we had a young team. Still our players; Umer Akmal, Asad Shafiq, Wahab Riaz and Saeed Ajmal played really well. It was predicted that dew factor would help the batting side, but there was no such dew as was expected. That went against us. India got the advantage of home ground and home crowd as well. Besides that, Pakistan’s performance disappointed us in fielding. Too many dropped catches favoured the opposition. That was the bad day for Umar Gul, who otherwise bowled pretty well throughout the tournament. Giving Umar another spell in the last overs proved to be a wrong decision. Not availing the batting power play while Afridi was on crease happened to be a wrong move as well. Younus didn’t score well. Misbah played much slower, when a higher run rate was required. Abdul Razzaq got flopped in batting. This is how we lost our chance.

But wait a minute. Talking with hind sight is the easiest job to do. That’s surely not an excuse but while sitting in the front of TV screens, we can’t guess the bone crushing speed of the hard ball, when it approached to fielders, which resulted in dropped chances. Who knows the deflection or angle of the sun light to their eyes. Admit it or not but Misbah, played a solid innings. He played every ball on its merit. Required run rate was the big issue, but Misbah at least stayed there. Quick fall of 3rd and 4th wickets were the turning points. Taking risks in such a situation neither was easy nor very sane, and hence Misbah played to the point. It seems that Pakistan planned to use the batting power play after the last over of Harbhajan. Luck didn’t favour and Afridi lost his wicket just before it. Otherwise, result could have been totally different. As a replacement of speedster Shoaib Akhtar, the young man Wahab Riaz took 5 wickets. He deserves a standing ovation. His performance was treat to our eyes and a hope for the bright future of our team. The only 3 sixes of the whole match were hit by Pakistan. Razzaq didn’t score in the match, but same is true for Yuvraj as well. We didn’t use him properly in the bowling. However on the positive note, giving spell to expensive Umar Gul proves the confidence, which the captain shown on him. Isn’t it the same confidence which Imran Khan gave to Abdul Qadir long ago, even though Abdul Qadir was going expensive and match was slipping from Pakistan’s hands? Abdul Qadir did it but Gul had a bad day. That’s all. World class Waqar Younas got punished even in more horrible way by Jadeja in World Cup 1996. Cricket is unpredictable and this is the beauty of the game. Let’s just enjoy that.

From first match till the Semi Final, Afridi worked really hard as a captain. He kept interacting with the bowlers after each ball and kept discussing with other players for the field adjustment and to alter strategy. He united the shattered team and made it a one combined unit. He led from the front with attacking mind set. He casted magic of his spin. He is the top wicket taker of the tournament. He interacted well with the media throughout the tournament as well and in the closing ceremony; he talked with a right spirit. Greatness doesn’t only lie in chanting slogans or dancing after getting a victory, but the real test comes when one faces a defeat but accept it with an open heart and a big smile.

Last but not least, Shoaib would always be remembered in the history of cricket for the enthusiasm, which he introduced in to the game. He resigned like a gentle man. Wankhede Stadium of Mumbai is unfortunate not to see him running over her shining grass on 2nd April as a last match of his international career. We are sad and disappointed, but still we love Afridi and all the boys. Whenever greens would play their match against any team; our hearts would beat for them, our prayers and claps would join them and we would keep waving the Green flag to show our support and love.

Don’t lose hopes. As a great nation, we should know how to go through such a sad moment and how to keep supporting our team.

Tomorrow is a new day. Better luck next time, friends. Pakistan Zindabaad ♥

(Nayyar Afaq, 31st March 2011 – 05:00 am)

PS: I have written it in a very short time along with flu and fever. So, please ignore and forgive me if I left any mistake or if you differ.

Photo Credit: http://bit.ly/kuPChV

At once,
While looking around and feeling my absence,
She slipped from the bend of galaxy,
And left out of her balance.
She yelled for help,
Trapped in whirl of gravity.

She screamed loud and found her dream broken.
Desperation made her eyes, wet.
Getting void of the sense of loss,
She placed hands on her breasts,
And made a cross.
Then, she covered her face to hide tears from me.
(But I was never there)

If I were there,
I would have shown her the colours imprinted on her fingers;
The colours, that she stole from the butterfly, which she went after,
The colours, which I found in her paintings and letters.
The colours, which I found in her words, whispers and laughter.

I wish I were there,
There was but an empty bed and a lonely chair.

I wish to chase the same butterfly.

(Poet: Nayyar Afaq / The Autumn Green)

Standing at the corner of the corridor,
I glanced at the fountain.
(Fountain of hope, surrounded by the youthful trees of dreams)
Water was projecting up and falling down,
On the deserted land of great expectations.
I found a shadow, standing under one of the trees.
(Someone, with long hairs, dressed in brown)
I tried to delight my eyes by her face,
But there was much fog.
And I felt like a blind.

I looked at the sky.
It seemed all clean but yet unclear.
Dark light struck my eyes,
Without bringing any vision.
I wished, wished and wished,
But the sun didn’t rise.

The shadow vanished in thick air, like smoke.
My spectacles got blurred by the layers of salty mist.
Lost sunshine was mourning deep in my soul.
Passing moments were marking sorrowful ticks at my wrist.

Lines of my palms were all baffled.
Freezing air brushed my coat,
And I shivered,
My heart turned faint and suffered a crack.
I held my shoulders with my own arms and stepped back.
(Stepped back to the same imprisonment of the solitude)

That night, not only my eyes were wet,
But lines of my palms also wrote a fable of tears and regret.
That night, trees cast the burning shadows,
And fountain remained dry.
That night, I kept sitting on the lonely bench,
Escorted by my sobbing cry.
And no one wiped my tears,
Those moments were all about vacuum and fears.

That night, I kept missing you,
But your face was not for my eyes.
I was left with total eclipse.
That night, the sun didn’t rise.

(Poet: Nayyar Afaq / Autumn Green)

When I get lost in the labyrinth of rejections,
It holds my hands, hugs and guides me.
When life offers anguish to break me down,
It feeds bravery, before time divides me.

An inner voice resonates under all the silence,
and keeps whispering in my soul, all day long.
Whenever I find myself lonely and broken,
It asks me to stand up and makes me strong.

(Nayyar AFAQ / Autumn Green)

———————————————————-

At every corner of my room, there are choices.
Some choices are positive, while some are negative.
Positive or Negative?
Who can define what is positive and what is negative?
Positive for me can be negative for you.
Everything is relative.

I live in my room,
This is not just a solitary confinement,
It’s my universe as well.
My universe,
Only for me.
However, you are allowed to enter in.
But only when my time is up!

There are 4 walls in my room;
One floor and a ceiling.
At every corner, there are choices,
Choices to be made.
I have closed my window,
Closed and locked,
Forever!
Everything is getting blurred and fade.
Can you wipe out my tears?
(Perhaps – never)
Optimism and hopes are illusions.
Don’t recite holy verses to misadvise me.
Let me die with my delusions.
I have listened my inner voice,
Suicide is not a crime.
It’s also an option – a choice.
May be a negative choice for you,
But negative for you might be positive for someone else.
Who knows?

Before the spider weaves her web in my broken cup,
Would you step in my room?
My time is up.

(Nayyar AFAQ / The Autumn Green)

I wish I could have the power to pluck sunset hues,
and to write a beautiful poem on dews.

I wish I could have the power to dive into depth of seas,
or to steal green shade of youthful trees.

I wish I could have the power to frame beautiful words,
and by some magical spell, switch them into birds.

I wish I could have the power to wipe out your tears,
and to whisper songs of happiness into your ears.

I wish I could have the power to turn back the time,
and hold your hands to stop you from part.

I wish, I wish and I only wish,
I wish I could have power to grow my love into your heart.

(Poet: Nayyar AFAQ / The Autumn Green)

(Nayyar Afaq / The Autumn Green)

(Poet: Nayyar AFAQ / The Autumn Green)
* Nox = Roman goddess of night

Pumpkin, pumpkin – Two, Three, Four
O Girl – join me on dance floor

Pumpkin, pumpkin – Three, Four, Five
Hold my arms to have sky dive

Pumpkin, pumpkin – Four, Five, Six
My bag is just full of tricks

Pumpkin, pumpkin – Five, Six, Seven
Her eyes are marbles of heaven

Pumpkin, pumpkin – Six, Seven, Eight
Ghosts are knocking at the gate

Pumpkin, pumpkin – Seven, Eight, Nine
Some-one haunts my telephone line

Pumpkin, pumpkin – Eight, Nine, Ten
I miss you every now and then

Life is short – Spread Love and Fun
Happy Halloween, every one

(Poet: Nayyar AFAQ / Autumn Green)

Wondered were these all our needs?

Ever had we asked for tears?

Why for “Good Bye” meant our ears?

Autumn, Winter, Sun shine, Snow

Sorrow, Regrets, Sadness, Woe

Tired shoulders, lonely cries

Crimson, yearning, swollen eyes

Shadow standing on the wall

Flimsy, weary, eight feet tall

Pages scattered on the floor

No one knocking at the door

Lonesomeness feel everywhere

Empty bed and empty chair

Aching prayers, broken knees

Some one’s dying, keep SILENCE please

(Poet: Nayyar Afaq / Autumn Green)

And stirred me up from the sleep

A shadow emerged from the wall

And got in my arms to weep

Few tears fall on my sleeves

Lost in darkness, one after other

A prayer kept sobbing on my shoulders

Like a child after losing her mother

A pain nailed deep in heart

Crushed my bones and the soul

A fire spread in my blood veins

And burnt me in to the coal

Like a phoenix, I turned into ashes

My shadow ran away out of the door

Fear stabbed me from behind

And I fall down, Dead on the floor

I won’t ever touch you

Still, I chased your dream

For thousand frozen nights

To embrace the warmth of your arms

And commence the festival of lights

Your hands slipped from mine

Leaving me, hollow and empty

I ran to hold your shoulders

And cried, “Don’t leave me, Please”

But I fall down on my way

And injured my knees

Forfeited all the endeavor

My dream broke into pieces

And I lost my sleeps – forever

My Room – 04:53 am: One more day passed away from the calendar, skipped away from my life. Day was not very good, but at night time, from no where a feeling of peace grew in my heart. Later, lying on my bed with head on my own arms, I missed a dressing table with mirror in my room. There is a wall on the left, with so many scrateches. I need to make a new paint. Why not to have a dining, too and yes, why not have a set of combs, hair jel and few bottles of perfumes. There is not even a wardrobe. For 4 and half months, still there is mess of things on floor. When would I arrange things? When would my room look beautiful? When would I hang the portraits, which my friend has gifted me months ago and what the hell is going on with my coat on which spider has made her web. Strings of guitars are broken and keys of pianos are untuned. There is a dust on set of my unpolished pair of shoes. For what is all this and for how long? I also wish a white board in my room with guiding remarks for me.

I am dead tired. My eyes are getting heavy and head is filled by strain. Some one switched off the light and I forget about the dressing table and mirror. Darkness tests how deep our eyes can search our lost ownself when right doesn’t get able to see at our left. Thanks God, I have no clock in my room. Otherwise its tick tick tick might could blast my ear drums. What I need right now is nothing but deep peace and sound sleep.

————————————————————————————————————-

Let me sleep, now…

—Signed—
Nayyar AFAQ
(Autumn Green)
05:28 am
18-06-09

She looked at it, smiled and said me, “Nayyar! Tell me whose home is this?”

I said, “It’s just a fantasy home for me.”

“Why it’s just an imaginary one, and not real?” was her next question

“Because it’s not destined for me to enter in.” I replied

“You have drawn windows, but all are closed. Why?” she insisted

“Because the person behind these windows fears to open them for me”, I replied.

“You have not even drawn door of the home.” She remarked

“No need to draw door, if I would not be allowed to enter.” my reply.

She looked at my silly face, and whispered, “You have drawn the tree with long branches and leaves, but I wonder why you have not drawn its roots as well. Don’t you know big trees need strong roots to stand firmly?”

I remained silent.

Then she narrated her analysis, “That tree is imagery of your own persona. Not drawing roots show that you feel yourself fragile. The home you drew is the indicant of the mental asylum. Showing no door means you feel yourself insecure, filled by feeling of solitude. Closed windows are the sign of the desperation and anxiety inside your heart, showing hopelesess.”

Than Dr. Ghazals adviced me, “You have to open the window. When you will succeed in doing that, you will also find some door opened for you, and then your tree would stand firmly, without fear to get fell…..”

————————————————————

Well, after 9 years to my first visit, finally I wished to open the closed windows and I did it. Unfortunately door yet is closed for me and my roots are getting weaker day by day.

Who knows some day, door would also be opened?

Meet me under the old oak tree
While you sleep tonight
We will sit for hours
(Revelling the rain of flowers)
And would listen the resonation of each other’s lips
I can imagine how your voice sounds
Delicate, shy, and gentle
Like the soft wind that your words bring into my soul.
Touching, caring, and sentimental

You hid your hands behind your back
Like they can’t impress my soul
They are thin, clumsy and black
Don’t be sad
Get them out
And look at the lines
Can they tell the future?
By showing glossy signs
Or just a reminder of the past
Of years of waiting for the joy
(That we promised ourselves?)
Decades ago
When I was young girl, and you were boy

(Poet: “Nayyar Afaq” a.k.a “The Autumn Green”)

Once, I got that Mirror. I wished to look myself upon it as well. There was a layer of dust on its surface. I made it clear by my fingers. Instead of getting dirt, my hands started glowing with light. Retina of my eyes stretched with wonder. I rubbed my palms to make them clean, but the radiance started growing slowly to the other parts of my body. I marvelled myself as if someone has placed a candle in dark room. I looked again at the Mirror. There was no dust any more, but this time I found few scratches on its surface. I wondered if these were the scratches of the Mirror or was it my face scribbled itself…

I was still in earlier dilemma, when I found that it’s not me, but some one else’ face in it. I tried to recognise the image in it, but at once a sparkling light emerged out of it. I was shocked and stepped back in fear. In this abruptness, I lost my balance. My eye glasses fall down on floor, leaving all the vision dim and blurred.

I crawled towards the wall and by having its support, stood up on my feet, once again. The charisma of the mirror spell bounded me again and I walked like a mesmerized one. This time I found a dark castle across the dim scratches. A young girl with long hairs and brownish-red dress was prisoned. She was alone, scared and surrounded by dark – walking like a blind, having her hands stretched out to feel the direction.

“Hay! This way”, I shouted. “Turn right. Just three steps and find a window. Open it.”

She did it, and soon, she was able to discover the door to get her out of this dark prison. She was now walking through the narrow corridors of the castle. The floor seemed like a bed of dry maple leaves, scattered all over, painting a brown fabric of autumn. Her soft feet made rustling sound, crushing them gently. At once, strong wind started echoing at the distant corners, flirting with her wet, silky hairs. She felt shivering and her hairs started floating in the air. Having her right hand on her breasts, and left on her head, she ran. She ran frightened and struck with a wall. She fall down on her feet and sobbed.

“Oh! It’s a labyrinth – the cruel trap of cupid”, I thought.

“I must show her the way out”, I asked myself, but a big question mark started dancing in front of my eyes. How?

Having no idea, I looked around my own-self. It was the room with four walls, floor, ceiling, one table and a door. There was no window any more. A feeling of congestion haunted my breaths. The only light was what coming out of the mirror in this solitary confinement. I stepped towards the door. It was locked, from inside. I pushed it hardly in frustration but it was as immovable as a mountain.

In disappointment, I stepped towards the table. I swept my hands on its surface to explore what the table holds.” A match box. Is it?” my fingers guessed and I lifted up the gadget. “Yes”, a sigh of relief emerged at my lips. I lit it and found two candles, feather pen, ink bottle, a white blank page and an old scripture as an inventory. I lit only one candle and left the second candle as it is.

“Help me. Anyone here? Please”, a voice echoed across the walls and I rushed towards the mirror, once again. Girl was still sobbing, covering face with her pale hands. I felt myself much helpless.

“How can I help this poor soul?”, I asked myself.

“My heart sinks. I don’t know why all this is happening with me?”, girl cried.

Wind started blowing again, and autumn leaves started flying. The cool breeze struck my face and leaves started getting out of the mirror, in my room. I wondered myself being a character of such a fairy tale.

(Chapter-1 ends)