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Posts Tagged ‘solitude’

Night passed away.
Morning bloomed like flowers in the garden,
I waited long for this day,
But the sun didn’t rise.
I kept holding all the words on the broken edges of my lips,
But no truth emerged from the ashes of my lies.
(My own lies; only for me, and all by myself)

Standing at the corner of the corridor,
I glanced at the fountain.
(Fountain of hope, surrounded by the youthful trees of dreams)
Water was projecting up and falling down,
On the deserted land of great expectations.
I found a shadow, standing under one of the trees.
(Someone, with long hairs, dressed in brown)
I tried to delight my eyes by her face,
But there was much fog.
And I felt like a blind.

I looked at the sky.
It seemed all clean but yet unclear.
Dark light struck my eyes,
Without bringing any vision.
I wished, wished and wished,
But the sun didn’t rise.

The shadow vanished in thick air, like smoke.
My spectacles got blurred by the layers of salty mist.
Lost sunshine was mourning deep in my soul.
Passing moments were marking sorrowful ticks at my wrist.

Lines of my palms were all baffled.
Freezing air brushed my coat,
And I shivered,
My heart turned faint and suffered a crack.
I held my shoulders with my own arms and stepped back.
(Stepped back to the same imprisonment of the solitude)

That night, not only my eyes were wet,
But lines of my palms also wrote a fable of tears and regret.
That night, trees cast the burning shadows,
And fountain remained dry.
That night, I kept sitting on the lonely bench,
Escorted by my sobbing cry.
And no one wiped my tears,
Those moments were all about vacuum and fears.

That night, I kept missing you,
But your face was not for my eyes.
I was left with total eclipse.
That night, the sun didn’t rise.

(- Writer: Nay Af/Autumn Green)

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Disclaimer: This is not, by any mean, written to glorify the act of suicide or provoke others to commit it. I believe in LOVE and LIFE.


At every corner of my room, there are choices.
Some choices are positive, while some are negative.
Positive or Negative?
Who can define what is positive and what is negative?
Positive for me can be negative for you.
Everything is relative.

I live in my room,
This is not just a solitary confinement,
It’s my universe as well.
My universe,
Only for me.
However, you are allowed to enter in.
But only when my time is up!

There are 4 walls in my room;
One floor and a ceiling.
At every corner, there are choices,
Choices to be made.
I have closed my window,
Closed and locked,
Forever!
Everything is getting blurred and fade.
Can you wipe out my tears?
(Perhaps – never)
Optimism and hopes are illusions.
Don’t recite holy verses to misadvise me.
Let me die with my delusions.
I have listened my inner voice,
Suicide is not a crime.
It’s also an option – a choice.
May be a negative choice for you,
But negative for you might be positive for someone else.
Who knows?

Before the spider weaves her web in my broken cup,
Would you step in my room?
My time is up.

(- Writer: Nay Af/Autumn Green)


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(The beginning of the end)

I saw ‘her’ for the first time, in a mirror.
When I was stunned to find my image in it.
My right was appearing left and left as right.
I looked at my eyes,
and tried to convert my thoughts in the reflection.
But what happened next was exactly infringing,
I found my face transforming into someone else.
I turned scared,
and rushed to my room.
(To prison myself back in solitude)

By mid night, I found someone whispering,
“You can run away from every ne;
God, world, people, relationships,
but you can’t run away from me,
I am you.”

In harassment, I said good bye to my room,
But where ever I went, found the same voice chasing me.
Finally, my nerves gave up,
and I hung a white flag over my door.
(Now, I don’t look upon the mirror)

The end of the beginning

(- Writer: Nay Af/Autumn Green)

 

 

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Alone I must stand…
Please, don’t ask to hold my hand…
Understand…
This is the end…
My only friend…
End of everything…
End of the rainy days, in which once I planted few dreams in the soil of solitude…
Dreams to worship together…
Dreams to love each other forever…
This is the end…
My only friend…
End of the nights, in which I wept in prayers…
Prayers for the stars to twinkle on the dark blanket of sky…
Prayers for the smiles and for no more cry…
This is the end…
My only friend…
End of the struggle to reach at the destiny…
End of the songs of peace and harmony…
Now, I have to astray in the forbidden land of insanity…
Don’t hold my hands…
They are pale and thin…
I admit…
My fingers may wipe your tears…
But they can not bring for you any grin…
There are pale leaves around my soul…
No more green is my season…
Leaving me is not a bad idea…
When you have one solid reason…
.
.
.
No matter how colourful my words may be…
Make a correct guess…
Dislike me…
Because I am Autumn…
Unfertile, Arid and Colourless…

This is the end, my only friend

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