Lie – a universal Truth

“Truth holds a great power…
Truth must always win…
If one stands for Truth…
God bless him an eternal grin…”

I read this in a Holy Scripture…
In my heart, such bravery was grown…
I went to defeat ambassadors of falsehood…
And lifted the flag of Truth all alone…

I fought with everyone but lost each battle…
I fall down on feet, with my eyes wet…
Then I heard some one saying,
“Scripture says right, don’t feel regret…

Didn’t you read the Book of ruth…
Lie is also a universal truth…”

(Poet: Nayyar Afaq, known as Autumn Green)

My Time is up

Disclaimer: The given poem is only to explore how a battle might take place in the mind of a young and bright person before commiting suicide, after losing the hope to have ’some one’ to accompany in his solitude.

This is not, by any mean to glorify the act of suicide or to provoke others to commit it. For few, suicide may not be a sin, but an option, However, even as a writer of ‘My Time is Up’, I do believe in LOVE and LIFE with all my heart and mind.

[Nayyar Afaq/The Autumn Green]

—————————————————————————————————————————-

At the every corner of my room, there are choices…
Some choices are positive, while some are negative…
Positive or negative…?
Who can define what is positive and what is negative…?
Positive for me, might be negative for you…
I live in my room…
This is not just a solitary confinement…
It’s my universe as well…
My universe…
Only for me…
However, you are allowed to enter in…
But only when my time is up!

There are 4 walls in my room…
One floor and one ceiling…
At every corner, there are choices…
Choices to be made…
I have closed my window…
Closed and locked…
Forever!
Optimism and hopes are illusions…
Don’t recite holy verses to misadvise me…
Suicide is not a crime, its also an option – a choice…
May be negative choice for you…
But negative for you might be positive for someone else…
Who knows?

Would you step in my room…
My time is up…

13 years of eclipse

Love!
Like a blanket of sunshine stretched everywhere…
Warm and bright…
I was writing a poem sitting on the roof…
(When I saw you)
And my words phrased a lyric of light…
I discovered eternal peace…
And my soul got a rebirth…
13 years ago…
All it was like a dream…
When sun rays were falling over me like snow…

Alas!
I lost those frozen days…
The days which greeted me warmly…
And introduced me to myself…
Guiding me to divinely ways…

Alas!
My eyes lost you…
Lost your sacred shining face…
And cursed by the tears of eclipse…
Now, I have to astray in dark streets of solitude…
Crying for that frozen December…

Love and sunshine,
Me and 13 years of eclipse…

Relationship?

What is the relationship between me and her?
Friendship,
Love,
Or simply a compromise…

I never heard her voice…
I never touched her…
I never saw her…
I never asked even for her photograph…
Supposing that such things are meaningless in ‘Love’…
The other day, I realised that “Compromise” also doesn’t care these things…

Compromise can never turn into Love…
But I wonder how Love commute into Compromise…
Is Love also a form of Compromise?
True-Isn’t it?
(A sounding echo cried in my heart, “No”…)

I surrendered to my heart…
It was just a friendship…
Among many of her friends, I am the one…
Yes just one, but not the ONLY one…

One day, she might sign out me from her friend’s list…
(Like the day, she herself added me to this list)
Who knows?

Because I am Autumn

Alone I must stand…
Please, don’t ask to hold my hand…
Understand…
This is the end…
My only friend…
End of everything…
End of the rainy days, in which once I planted few dreams in the soil of solitude…
Dreams to worship together…
Dreams to love each other forever…
This is the end…
My only friend…
End of the nights, in which I wept in prayers…
Prayers for the stars to twinkle on the dark blanket of sky…
Prayers for the smiles and for no more cry…
This is the end…
My only friend…
End of the struggle to reach at the destiny…
End of the songs of peace and harmony…
Now, I have to astray in the forbidden land of insanity…
Don’t hold my hands…
They are pale and thin…
I admit…
My fingers may wipe your tears…
But they can not bring for you any grin…
There are pale leaves around my soul…
No more green is my season…
Leaving me is not a bad idea…
When you have one solid reason…
.
.
.
No matter how colourful my words may be…
Make a correct guess…
Dislike me…
Because I am Autumn…
Unfertile, Arid and Colourless…

A fairy Dream (Poem)

Her face was shining gold as sun,
Like rose, her lips were smiling red,
Her eyes were filled with shades of dark,
A soul in blue was lying on bed.

I wished that ‘rainbow’ in my arms,
And fairy dream then just to start,
I thought to steal that spectrum but,
When I just touched, broke up her heart.

Dreams-The finite of infinity

Do you know?
Dreams are the keys to new dimensions…
And these dimensions are more than just ‘infinite’…

Yes, I know and I believe…

But yet,
I wonder why you never meet me in any of my dream!
(Under the same oak tree, where once you asked to hold my hands)
.
.
.
Do you know?
Now I have remained last sleeping pill with me.

Silence and Smile

‘Silence’ and ‘Smile’ are signs of the sensation of LOVE in soul when graced on face as one.
Sometimes she smiles…
Sometimes remain silent…
Sometimes she neither smiles nor remains silent…

Would ever in lifetime, she smile in silence for me?

Don’t tell her

She was smiling… graciously and gently, surrounded by her acquaintances. She was not familiar with all of them, but yet there was a brand feel of affection and sense of companionship, which she was waiting for many years. While opening the gift packs she received, her eyes were shining like some kid, overflowing with wonder, and the blissful laughter at her lips were reminding me of the day when she explore Santa Claus for the first time.

I was also there, standing unaccompanied behind the fine-looking sapphire colored curtain in silence. She didn’t get me there. In fact, she was not supposing me there, or perhaps not wishing, too.

I thought to give her my gift as well. I pulled out a piece of paper… pulsed for a while, and wrote just two words, and pasted it on the entrance of her room, and walked away of the bar… to prison myself back in solitude.

What were these two words?
Shhh… don’t ask.
She read them, and understood well.

Please, don’t tell her who pasted that placard at her door.

Who am I?

I asked Elizabeth, “Who are you? “
She replied, “I am Christian.”

I asked Abit, “Who are you? “
He replied, “I am Buddhist.”

I asked Dawkin, “Who are you? “
He replied, “I am Scientologist.”

I asked Asif, “Who are you? “
He smiled, “I am an Atheist.”

I asked Neha, “Who are you? “
She replied, “I am Hindu.”

I asked Zaid, “Who are you? “
He replied, “I am Muslim.”

I lift my face up to the sky and asked God in tears,
“Who am I?”

…Silence…

Only a pray

Standing at the roof of tallest building of the world, I wished to touch the sky, but it yet appeared too far from me.

The next day, I heard someone saying,
“Only a pray can touch the sky.”

One bread and two billions hungry

One person out of every three in this world is poor and hungry.
I have only one bread with me.
How can I divide one bread among these two billions?

A human being is much developed in 21st century.
He can even divide an atom to distribute death to the whole world in nuclear war.
Would ever he be ‘developed’ to divide one bread in two billion pieces?

The most horrible nightmare!

The most horrible nightmare is “Reality”. I tried to run away from it and closed all my doors, but it seemed seeking getting in from windows. So, I locked my windows and rendered myself in my room, but with every second it slashed at my ear drums through the tick tick tick of wall clock. I felt afraid and frustrated. So, I buried my wall clock deep in ground beneath my feet, and swallowed my last sleeping pill.

Next thing was even more horrifying. I witnessed a dark shadow in dream, shouting me aloud, “Silence Please!”

I cried, “Who are you, and don’t you see I am already silent.”

Shadow screamed, “I am ‘Reality’, and you are not silent. Your thought is your voice. You must stop thinking fighting with me, as you can’t win a victory over me.”

By saying this, shadow jumped over to kill me.

I yelled for ‘Help’, and at once, woke up. My eyes were burning with restlessness and mind was feeling hopeless.

I lifted my face up for having prayer to God to rescue me of that nightmare.

While I was praying, a plant starting growing up (from the remains of the broken clock), with roots spread at once up to the corners of my room in deep, and its branches to reach to the walls.

After having my prayer finished, I bowed myself.

The roots of the tree of time grasped my feet.

I surrendered to the ‘reality’.

Reality!
The most horrible nightmare.

A Girl’s Heart

A girl’s heart is the most delicate and astonishing thing God ever made. It holds the secrets of eternity, corridors to divinity, treasure of solitude and silence to be heard.

Why every story has its end?

Like every kid, once I also cherished reading fairy tales. It was incredible fascination having my mind occupied by the charismatic fables before having sleep. The most disappointing moments, I still can recall, were always the ending moments of the stories. I never wished any story to get end but surely stories are meant to end. It’s all about innocent days of childhood.

Now, when I am grown into 28, no longer interested in reading such stories (because perhaps my innocence is lost), I still wonder, “Why every story has its end?”

Even if I myself become the character of ‘Arabian Nights’ (as once I wished), I know disappointment would be all mine… if not today, then may be after thousand nights.

I was Ugly, I am Beautiful

ACT-I

I was ugly…

Bad looking, colorless and short…

No one ever followed my footsteps…

I prisoned myself in self claimed fort…

I covered myself in veil…

My hairs were scattered…

My face was pale…

There was no sense to feel flattered…

My hands were thin…

I was afraid of looking into mirror…

Like my display is nothing but sin…

ACT-II

Then, one fine morning, I found you…

My inner was dark, you blessed me light…

I was ugly; you turned me good-looking…

I was coward; you taught me how to fight…

Now, I don’t care my shortness…

As my thoughts are much taller to stroke the skies…

Now, my hands are soft and my shoulders are warm…

Now, no more tears twinkle in my eyes…

I am a poet; my words hold a feeling of charm…

I help the blinds finding their way…

My heart is no more a stone…

Now here, kindness and serenity do sway…

Now, I love life and wish to live…

I don’t kill or harm any insect…

And I even don’t crush grass under my feet…

Now, I love humanity and God more than ever…

(And He loves me, too)

ACT-III

God is love…

And love is all above…

How ugly I was…

How beautiful I am…

(Poet: Nayyar Afaq ~ Autumn Green)

Every word has a colour

Every word has its own colour. Some words are white; some are black, some red, some blue and so on.
Once, I wished to hear something that could enlighten my inner-self, but you didn’t gift me such words.
Now, it’s like a journey through the dark shadows of silence for me to write……. Yet I have survived my hope that one day, you would speak to bless me such words, that brighten my soul and I will start writing words full of light.

Three words can change my world

I never wished for Gold,
and never asked for Bride,
But prayed for life of honour,
And moments filled with Pride.

Like butterflies in mind,
Like freedom holding birds,
I wished to sing such poems,
I wished to write such words.

Words-reflection of Grace,
Words-shining like a star,
Words-like Beethoven’s song,
Words-as soft as some flower.

I never kissed her hands,
Or hold her arms for dance,
But yet no so defeated,
To name it, failed romance.

This world is stage for us,
Script perfect, music fine,
When curtain rose for me,
I forgot all my line.

I’m not good actor-yet,
I played my role for years,
To fix one smile at face,
And hide all frozen tears.

Wide rivers, High mountains,
Whatever on the way,
If you to join my journey,
I don’t care what come may.

I wish one peaceful day,
You come to me, my friend,
To lure a song of love,
Then may my breaths get end.

Three words can change my world,
With ‘I’ in start, end ‘You’,
And third one shines like sun,
To paint sky something blue.

Sword and Words

Pen is mightier than a sword. You can’t win any one’s heart by sword, but few beautiful words can. Like same, a sword can kill only one person at a time, but the words of hatred and revenge can devastate whole humanity.

I tried writing words of Love, but found the ink of my pen getting fade. I lifted the sword, but its blade was not sharp.

Finally, I threw the sword and ran away… I ran away and lost my way in the forest of silence.

West corner

Sitting in front of my PC, sometimes I get fed up of interacting the world through internet, and shut down my ‘Windows’.

Lying alone on bed in the room of my insanity, sometimes I get frustrated of my loneliness, and start opening the window at the corner of the room.

I have already spent many years following the same routine. I would have to follow the same for remaining life, until the first ray of rising sun may greet my window to share its warmth.

Alas! My window is at the West corner of the room.

I will try

The dark phantom of evening was covering everything and defeating single bit of light.
Sun asked, “Is there any one to fight against darkness, after me?”

No one dared to reply. After few moments of complete silence, a small candle whispered, “I will try.”

Loneliness and Crowd

Whenever I get alone, find myself in crowd of memories, and whenever I walk through the street full of crowd, I feel myself alone…

How miraculous is the feeling of be in love.

Vision and Insight

My eye glasses slipped through my eyes, hit the floor and broke into pieces. The whole world started looking vague to me without having my spectacles…

But now, I wonder, how can I think much clear than before…

Rain and Window

Looking through the glass pane of window at the corner of my room, I felt a sense of emptiness, void and silence walking through the street. It was raining ruthlessly. There was no-one else in the street. Dark clouds were ruling over the sky and cool breeze was blowing. I asked myself,

“Why my street looks so empty and silent in rain”. All my memories and regrets associated with rain & windows, got alive. Then some thought whispered my ears, “Aah! In my inner, it has also been raining for years. My heart is also filled with a feel of emptiness.”

I felt few stars twinkling at my eye lashes. I stood up like a defeated gambler, opened the door of the room, and rushed out.

It’s good to make some flirt with rain, as no one can ever observe my tears while walking in rain.

Love is like a plant

Love is like a plant…
Some times, a plant fail to grow at all… same is with love
Some times, a plant grow into a strong tree… same is with love
Some times, spring reign over the plant… same is with love
Some times, its autumn to rule… same is with love
There is only one name over the stem of my tree…
My tree, which is green and as high as sky…
BUT
No one knows…
Its roots are much weakened without you…